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so for some reason ive just been happy as shit lately...i dont know maybe because its almost summer maybe its other reasons...:) i dont know whatever it is i hope it keeps going or something i dont know i think im going to leave it rather vague for now. ahhh yes.
summer needs to hurry up and get here. now please thanks
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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it really angers me when people think they are soo much higher in the food chain than you and think they can boss you around. i dont believe that they any better than anyone else especially if they are a teammate. DAMN IT! ugh! im in such a poo mood over other peoples' stupidity!
god im so good at making enemies these days imnot the same person i used to be obviously where i loved everyone and everyone liked me back. i guess i just do things that people dont agree with but i dont know get why they cant be my friend even through those certain decisions i make. i hate when people leave me behind becase they think they are getting ahead without me. i just think that sometimes people forget that i am human and i do have feelings...
i had a sweet night friday. i <3 everyone i hung out with this weekend x's a billion hoorray!
<3<3bailey
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 8th, 2003
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this weekend was alright. i wish i could understand the male species. how can you tell if one is different from the other and they wont do what the last did? i dont know maybe thats what makes boys so appealing. Mysterious and challenging guys always seem to be so capitivating and yummy.
i heard the funniest thing the other day... apparently im a slut!!
hmm...yeah doesnt really add up but if thats what people think then they dont know me at all.
so yes...im thinking that i might have a crush..:) i hope its a good thing. im sketched out by guys kind of now.weird. i wonder why that is.
oh yes! i hung out with awesome people on friday! i had a blast seeing them. i wish i was in college.:(
<3<3 bailey
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i hate how some people have their panties all in a bunch because of the way i choose to live my life. Ive heard that youre supposed to please yourself before you please others, yes, that may sound selfish but it avoids depression and other nonsense. I dont live for anyone else but myself. If you have a problem with that then you have issues. People should be happy for others if they are happy (yeah i learned the hard way). Just for the record- IM NOT DUMB thank you very much and you cant try to make me out to be a slut because im not one. I dont "make out with random dudes". Who are you to judge? I wont pass up chances to do something that could turn out rad... i dont like being pulled around like im just some "bitch" im a fucking person man. and even though im a girl i do have feelings thank you.
ANYWAYS the good things that happened this weekend....
i hung out with grace on friday and our asses got so lost trying to get to the show so that plan failed. We went up to cape henry to watch this freaky friday thing it was so funny
then we met wes up at subway and hung out in the parking lot and took lots of pictures... i saw one of my friends who i havent seen in forever...it ruled! Then grace and i went back to her casa and tried to watch requiem for a dream but i crashed i was sooo tired so we both fell asleep at freaking 12 30!!! then the next day we went to ricks and got grilled cheeses (sooooo good) then i went home. i slept until like 3 30. i called up my friend megan around 6 and she came over at like 7 and then wes came and picked us up and we went to this party... i love the people that were there they are so nice (with the exception of one person cough cough) it was alot of fun.
today i had volleyball from 1 to about 6 im so exhausted ill probably fall asleep early tonight
anyways... i hope everyone had as good of a weekend as i did.
thanks to those who made it worth while...
<3<3
bc baaaaaby
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
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i really missed being home this weekend but it was great to get away also. Columbus Ohio is pretty cool... i mean it was nothing special but different from vb. man the snow there was intense my team had to walk a long way in the snow to the convention center where we played it was alot of fun walking. one day we had this huge snowball fight and one of my coaches pushed me face first into a huge pile of snow. kiiiinda sucked but it was lot of fun. we went to the COOLEST restaraunt and i do mean the COOLEST. it was called the elevator and there was this waiter/host working and he was probably the hottest guy ive seen in a while and i think he caught me staring at him ...oh well its not like ill ever see him again (bummer). yeah so the actual volleyball playing was great i think i played fairly well this weekend but my team as a whole played awesome. we made it all the way to the finals and we lost in a third game (another bummer we shouldve won!) but yeah 2nd out 50 some teams is not too shabby so im excited there were lots of college coaches there...anyways we got snowed in in ohio and we couldnt leave until this morning... oh well
all in all ohio ruled and i love my team
im going to radford this weekend hopefully hanging with wes! yay! wes is awesome.
but yeah i definitely had a drama free 5 days and i loved every day of it. i think my priorities are starting to fall in place and im realizing what goes first now and im definitely going to work alot harder at the things im good at and the things i should be good at but i slack off in anyways. i had an awesome weekend. im worn the fuck out but its a good feeling. night
<3 to those who care
bc yo
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Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
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hooray for me im gunna kick ass in volleyball today... my other coach brandon told me that what ever anger i have inside i should use for my game...and something really just fucking got my goat so im gunna be tough as shit at practice. no one stand in my way because ill knock you down. he also told me that shit that happens now is only a little bump in the road and i wont even remember by the time im gone. hes right. i love my friends. ive realized life isnt fair and sometimes it kicks you hard in the face but you have to brush that shit off like it never happened. so keep the kicks coming ill pretend like it doesnt hurt and ignore the pain. so yeah im done with people who dont care. i guess all i have to say it was nice knowing you and i hope you have an awesome life.
<3<3
b to the c dawg.
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Monday, February 10th, 2003
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I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I've said too much
Been too unkind
I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
whoa i fell asleep today and i had the WEIRDEST dream
i love sleeping.
im sorry to those i recently hurt. it was only because i was.
im getting over it. i hope things can kind of be ok again.
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Sunday, February 9th, 2003
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so today i found out some very strange news (heartbreaking to me) but i wont post it because i dont want to blow up spots. anyways. i feel like ive been kicked by a horse in the stomach. i know the right the to do would be to be happy but i really cant and i think i have a right to be selfish. i just thought i knew someone and i really didnt. its a huge let down i guess. i just really hate how things change so fast and then there isnt anything you can do about it. i know now that i am wiser and im going to more careful when i THROW the word "love" around. i hate when people feel the need to hide things from me i think its more upsetting than anything of course sometimes i may be irrational but i think its going to be expected in certain circumstances but wouldnt you be ready for it? especially if you say you care about the person as much as you say you do? i dont know maybe im young and naive and i dont understand life as well as others.
i still love you and im sure i will for as long as live. it just sucks because i never paid any attention to that saying "you never know how much you miss something until its gone" -all i have to say is i wish i had. i know you shouldnt live life on regret but is it valid at time like this? well i dont know what i else i could do or say but yeah. time will tell.
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Now I met you
that part of the song used to give me butterflies.
<3<3 bc
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Saturday, February 8th, 2003
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last night i went over to donalds with robin and annie it was fun...then stephanie mark phil stephs friend andy and some others showed up it was sweet as shit hanging with them...this hooott dude showed up and i was like mmm but too bad i had to leave! anyways today i got home around 1 something ish and then stephanie came over while waited for grace to get ready and we watched the cure dvd then grace came and we went to the mall to look for my mom to get some bones and then we went and ate mexican. i met this dude adam he seems nice and then there was a little chip war that went on between this other booth and us it was fun. yeah i love stephanie and grace they rullleee. man its about time for me to go hunting for some male. it aint cool to be single yo. well actually i dont know if i want to jump into something but i dont know fuck it. anyways i just want to thank someone for not telling me something. thanks alot. you can really tell alot from that congratulations i guess.
anyways i dont have a valentine and i dont think ican even have one because im not going to be in town! shhh worthless. oh well
alright im out its time to go mental
<3 bc
ps im pissed off at you big time.
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Wednesday, February 5th, 2003
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i love the cure. my mom's friend let her borrow this DVD and its the Cure's greatest hits. the boys dont cry video is so cute. it makes me want to dance! its a cool DVD though i enjoyed it. yeah so im grounded from the computer on the weekdays sucky as shit. so that just means that if anyone really wants to talk to me they have to call me...as in call my cell phone so you can save my life and i wont die of freaking boredom. yeah i know its going to be good for me because ill get all my homework done and such but ill miss talking to my friends.
yeah so i get to miss school next friday and monday. ! its early in the season though ill get back into it i hope this vball tournament is somewhat fun...yeah...hopefully ill play. man i hate how shit is... i hate sitting the bench im not used to it(not to sound cocky or anything) but its true i went from playing all the time to be scared to hit a ball... thats not me at all. im wreckless anyways enough with the boring poo.
yeah so i hope this entry seems a little more optimistic than the last few... ive been really upset these past few days but you know its better to be happy for someone than it is to be all upsetlike because youre a dumbass and by you i mean me. so oh well im guessing life goes on?
i guess thats it.
night
<3bc
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Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
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so ive been thinking more than normal lately and im not so sure if thats a good thing. i hate how so many people lie im not saying that i dont.. but just lying over really stupid things. even lying to make themselves look better. i guess there, its just stretching the truth but still. I was thinking that if someone would lie straight to your freaking face what would hold them back from talking massive shit about you behind your back. I know i definitely do not have feelings of steel but im pretty sure that if someone has shit to say about me they would just say it to my face. im not a very violent person its not like i would punch them in their face because of their opinion but im a fairly resonable person. long ago i once thought i had someone who i thought would never lie to my face over really stupid things, but it turns out they would. its just funny how people will dump on you because of who choose to be with. whatever though its their life. i wouldnt ever force anything on anyone and if you dont want to talk me, dont. if you dont want to hang out with me, dont.
its simple. but i would really like to eliminate the bullshit that goes about and get on with life.
yeah so on the softer side! im still feeling a little uneasy but not as bad last night man i was on the verge of tears (WHAT?! me cry?NOO)
lame? yes yes i know. i had a fun time out in great bridge today i guess. i dont know anything away from normal is kind of good for me right now. anyways! thats about it for now.
<3bc
dont choke bitch.
eh yo i got my bling back by the way so if anyone wants the numero let me know and ill give it to you
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Monday, February 3rd, 2003
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man i hate how so much changes in such short periods of time. You think that things are going to be just peachy but then shit just turns out kind of sour. i really dont know exactly what im feeling right now... i dont know if its regret or jealousy or just confusion. i really hate how i am right now and i wish shit would get better soon and i know the way im feeling is pure selfishness... but everyone does it. its human. i guess what im trying to say is i miss how things were in the past but hopefully ill grow up and get over my petty problems. i hope this isnt offensive to anyone but its just the shit thats boiling up inside and its starting to hurt. thats all for now.
<3bc
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
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well last night over all was boring as hell. i watched from hell which was definitely the highlight of my night. Johnny Depp is sexy. i like the dark mysterious type its so attractive. so yeah i woke up at about 12:30 today not bad not bad. i have volleyball at 4 today i already have a massive floor burn from the other day lets see if i can add a few more. yeah so ohio is coming up and im pretty sure its going to be sucky. oh well... i hope everyone had fun at that show... i heard it was awesome
anyways im out i gotta get ready for my anger management class(vball)i hope i have another good practice.
<3<3btothecyo
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Saturday, February 1st, 2003
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yeah so friday was kind of weird. i wish i wouldve gone to greg's hotel thing but nope i was a retard! anyways. im really pissed off today. i cant leave my house and i wanted to go to that show in richmond really bad. i dont know i wish alot of things were different tonight but oh well not much i can do now. i hate being bored. i want to shove pencils in my eyes. argh. beingh home puts me in the worst mood ever. im having one of those weird nights (moodwise) but oh well maybe it will have a good turn out who knows. im out
<3 bc
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Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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school was lame as shit today, as always its cool though its the third 9 weeks. summer is just around the corner. i seriously cannot wait until i get my license. ill pick anyone up yo! i think im getting my bling back tomorrow... but im sure ill get it taken away again as soon as report cards come out...its that damn math! i just do not understand the concept of fucking numbers! on the bright side i have an A in english which i think i earned i worked my ass off. i need to pick it up though seriously anyone want to kick me in the ass? just let me know! yeah so BAD is having another sleepover soon im stoked on that its going to be fun. so i have volleyball tonight im pretty sure im going to channel all this anger i have inside of me building up out on someones face. people have seriously been pissing me off lately. i feel kind of bad... sometimes i just want to push the shit out of the little freshman that walk really slow in front of me. OOOHHH WELL still looking forward to this weekend. only a few more days yay. i have to go to columbus next weekend for a volleyball tournament. BOGUS what the hell is in OHIO?! ugh oh well ill get over it. im out though peace
<3bc
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Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
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all i have to say is that i hate computers.
im feeling a little shitty right now
and i cant wait for the weekend.
that is all because my computer is REALLY PISSING ME OFF
<3bc
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Saturday, January 25th, 2003
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man last night was crazy fun. i went to guadalajara with stephanie and david and then we picked up grace and then we went to the show, which was sweet. then we went to ihop. emily and i shared an apple crisp...SOOOO GOOD. i had soo much fun hanging out with everyone they are cool as shit. haha games are fun as shit too. last night was the first time in such a long time that i stayed up until 7am just talking. man stephanie has sooo mcuh freaking junk food we all got hungry around 4 and we went to town in her kitchen i was like DAAAAAAMN soo good. i couldnt freaking stop eating last night it was nuts. i think sleepovers should definately occure more frequently.
man i havent talked to someone in what seems like ages kinda hard to tell if they care or not but i hope they do becaus i miss them.
today i went up to TVA to watch the 18 boys play... those guys are so funny man we had some random sex conversations...(whats with sex conversations this weekend is everyone horny or something) and then i came home and now im gunna go to dinner with some kids and then go over to gregs for his bday... greg is awesome. anyways im not going to get all in depth with this nonsense so im outtie.
i <3 you all-thanks for all the fun last night i think i definately needed it.
<3<3btothecontheeastsidewhaaa?
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Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
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man i havent updated in like 20 some years! i dont even know where to begin. so today we had a snow day im pretty happy about that i slept until like 12 everyone in the whole US had to call my house early as shit im surprised that didnt kick me out of bed. i think my sister and i are going to guadadadadalalalalajhajraa today woo hoo... haha walking up there. (its ok i get my license july 30th)man i love shelby badoyen shes always knows when something is wrong with me and helps me feel better(notsaying that no one else helps me out but you know who you are).. i think she should be a stand-up comedian. i cant wait for this weekend. its going to be nice. it sucks hating the other 5 days of the week and depending on 2 little days to make myself feel better is lame i should just love everyday and be thankful for it.. yeah right F school yo! right in the butt. its cool summer will be here soon enough. i guess all i can say right now is that im thankful i have friends close ones at that. my sister is singing really loud in the shower its funny. ok enough bullshit. ok so i still have NO BLING YET! maybe tomorrow i can beg my mom to take me to get it back i really need one! alright so yeah...cant wait for tomorrow!!!!! AHHHH its going to be tough.
peace out brothas and sistas
<3<3bc
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Thursday, January 16th, 2003
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yeah so today was weird...i slept in every class including keyboarding...im the master at sleeping...
so yeah donald got beat up tonight...brutal
CSD rules and C is going to be BURNT...well the ground "youknowwho" walks on YES!
brutal business.
man i was really mute tonight to some people im sorry i still <3 you though i hope its mutual.
ahh i want to play vball but im going so far away! AHHH
im feeling tough tonight i didnt use cold water when i took a shower! ooooh yeah
<3
bc
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Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
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things are starting to look up...i wish i knew my place in peoples' lives but i guess time will tell blah! im bummed im going to philadelphia i wanted to hang out with some homies yo! oh well i got sunday and monday hopefully...exam weeks is going to be SAWEET getting out early and whatnot hooray. im glad it snowed last night i didnt even know it did until i was walking out the door to go to school...there were accidents all over though thats a bummer. I HAVE A NEW FRIEND! and we dont talk about bullshit. its awesome. yeah im out im boring i need to get some excitement in my life yo! ill work on it... oh yeah i got freaking massacred by a ball at practice last night in the FACE...sucked a fat one oh well...IM GETTING MY BLING BACK!!!!! yes thats right my cell phone will be back in action. ive been so lost with out one. it sucks i cant believe ive made it this far. its the little things in life that make me happy.
yeah im a pooooooo
peace
<3 bc
<3bc
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godisawesome's journal
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